While born and raised in the Amish community, Saloma Miller Furlong never fit the model of a “good” Amish person. Even as a child, she felt stifled by the restrictive culture and growing up she lived in fear in an abusive home.
At 20, with no more than an eighth-grade education, she knew she had to escape. Furlong gathered the strength and courage to leave the world she knew and set out alone in search for freedom.
Furlong discussed her journey, described in her new memoir, Why I Left the Amish, to a full house at the Caldwell Public Library Wednesday night.
“To many, the Amish represent a model of a good society, a utopia,” Furlong noted. “But like everything else, there is a good and a negative side.”
Furlong said the negative side overwhelmed the positive. She had her first real sense of despair upon graduating eighth grade. That signaled the end of her education. Always a curious child, she desperately wanted to continue her schooling, but Amish custom does not permit education for children beyond the age of 14.
“Nothing short of accepting the Amish ways without question is required to be a ‘good’ Amish person,” Furlong said, and this was vexing for her. She wanted to know why she couldn’t ride a bike or play a musical instrument or receive a formal education.
Furlong’s home life was troublesome as well. “I grew up in a family where I didn’t feel safe.” Her father alternated between rage and depression, her mother disciplined with whips or belts if her rules were challenged, and her oldest brother acted like a father figure whose “brutality” could be merciless.
When she was 14, she knew she was too young to make it on her own, but when she turned 20 she recognized leaving was a possibility. She packed her suitcase and with help from a family she was working for outside the community, she took the little money she had saved up and boarded a train to Vermont.
“I knew I wanted to go to Vermont,” said Furlong, “because I liked the way it looked in geography books.”
While there she met a man, but the courtship and her freedom were cut short when a delegation from her community in Ohio was sent to Vermont to bring her back. She returned for three years, but David, the man she met, wouldn’t let her go that easy. He called her place of employment and arranged covert visits with her. When Furlong decided she would leave the Amish for good, David was there to pick her up.
The two eventually married and had children. In 2007 Furlong finally realized her life-long goal of receiving a higher education when she graduated from Smith College.
Although Furlong admits she enjoyed certain aspects of the Amish life— the unhurried pace, the rooted feeling she had, her sense of place in the community—she feels grateful for the freedom she’s had in the 30 years since she left.
At 20, with no more than an eighth-grade education, she knew she had to escape. Furlong gathered the strength and courage to leave the world she knew and set out alone in search for freedom.
Furlong discussed her journey, described in her new memoir, Why I Left the Amish, to a full house at the Caldwell Public Library Wednesday night.
“To many, the Amish represent a model of a good society, a utopia,” Furlong noted. “But like everything else, there is a good and a negative side.”
Furlong said the negative side overwhelmed the positive. She had her first real sense of despair upon graduating eighth grade. That signaled the end of her education. Always a curious child, she desperately wanted to continue her schooling, but Amish custom does not permit education for children beyond the age of 14.
“Nothing short of accepting the Amish ways without question is required to be a ‘good’ Amish person,” Furlong said, and this was vexing for her. She wanted to know why she couldn’t ride a bike or play a musical instrument or receive a formal education.
Furlong’s home life was troublesome as well. “I grew up in a family where I didn’t feel safe.” Her father alternated between rage and depression, her mother disciplined with whips or belts if her rules were challenged, and her oldest brother acted like a father figure whose “brutality” could be merciless.
When she was 14, she knew she was too young to make it on her own, but when she turned 20 she recognized leaving was a possibility. She packed her suitcase and with help from a family she was working for outside the community, she took the little money she had saved up and boarded a train to Vermont.
While there she met a man, but the courtship and her freedom were cut short when a delegation from her community in Ohio was sent to Vermont to bring her back. She returned for three years, but David, the man she met, wouldn’t let her go that easy. He called her place of employment and arranged covert visits with her. When Furlong decided she would leave the Amish for good, David was there to pick her up.
The two eventually married and had children. In 2007 Furlong finally realized her life-long goal of receiving a higher education when she graduated from Smith College.
Although Furlong admits she enjoyed certain aspects of the Amish life— the unhurried pace, the rooted feeling she had, her sense of place in the community—she feels grateful for the freedom she’s had in the 30 years since she left.